Perhaps one of the most challenging aspects of motherhood with chronic illness is helping your children understand what is going on with your body and encouraging acceptance about how your illness may impact them. How can you help them develop empathy about what you’re experiencing, especially if your illness is invisible? Where’s the line between being honest and making them worry? What’s the best way to address their concerns in kid-friendly language? This is a topic that will likely need to be an ongoing discussion in your family – and sometimes reading a book together can help!
Gentle Hugs
by Lily Guzman
Mariah Z. Leach received a copy of this book as a gift from the author. She was not compensated for this review and all opinions are her own.
Gentle Hugs, by Lily Guzman, tells the story of a young boy named Alex and the adventures he has with his mom and his adorable dog, Nico. Alex’s mom has good days, where she can chase Alex and laugh, and not so good days, when she needs to stay in bed and rest. But no matter what type of day it is, Alex knows that his mom loves him very much.
I like that this book recognizes and addresses the difficult feelings that children are likely to experience sometimes when their parent lives with chronic illness or chronic pain, like sadness or disappointment. Alex works through his feelings by talking to his dog, Nico. He talks about all the things he wishes his mom could do, recognizing his own frustration. But for each thing that he knows his mom can’t do at the moment, Alex thinks of a different activity that he knows they can enjoy together. For example, when Alex’s mom can’t play ball, they decide to blow bubbles together instead.
The book also has some great descriptions of chronic pain that seem likely to help a child understand pain that they cannot see themselves. For example, Alex describes his mom’s body as “TIRED like she was running up a hill” or “stiff like a ROBOT” or “heavy like she is carrying an ELEPHANT.” The illustrations also show Alex’s mom doing things that parents with chronic illness are likely to do, like resting in bed, going to the doctor, and watching Alex while he plays.
No matter how Alex’s mom is feeling, he knows that she is always able to give him gentle hugs. Alex realizes that his mom always loves him no matter how she is feeling, and in the end that makes him feel happy.
I love that the book offers a lesson about resilience and empathy. And while the book does a great job helping kids understand what chronic pain might feel like, it doesn’t specify any particular condition, which makes it a great option for opening the conversation with your child about your own diagnosis. The illustrations by Dorota Rewerenda are also wonderfully whimsical and detailed, and sure to capture your child’s sense of imagination.
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