Valentine’s Day tends to provoke expectations about romance – where everything is supposed to be perfect for that one day. But, here in the land of reality, life is hardly EVER perfect! Especially when you’re a parent of small children! Especially when you’re a parent of small children who is also living each day with a chronic illness.
In the twenty-three years that my husband and I have been together, we’ve never really celebrated Valentine’s Day (other than using it as an excuse to eat chocolate, ha!) But, since becoming parents, we’ve found new meaning in the holiday by using it as a chance to communicate love within our family.
For the two weeks in February leading up to Valentine’s Day, we do “Valentine Door Hearts” for our kids. Every night, after the kids go to sleep, we add a paper heart to each of their doors with a special reason we love each of them written on it. It’s a great opportunity to show our kids that we love them, individually, for so many different and specific reasons.
The kids love waking up every morning to see what their new heart says, and by the time Valentine’s Day rolls around our upstairs hallway is covered in hearts and full of love. It has been a fun tradition to show love in our family in a more visible way. And it makes the kids feel good about themselves – last year I think my middle kiddo insisted on leaving the hearts up through most of the summer!
When I think about loving my kids, I also think about loving my husband – who is my partner on this wild ride. I particularly appreciate his support when it comes to facing the challenges of chronic illness. Because, while I may be the one actually diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, I’m not the only one who has to live with rheumatoid arthritis. There aren’t very many people who truly understand how much my chronic illness impacts my life – unless they already live with chronic illness themselves. But there are even fewer people who realize how it impacts my husband’s life.
In spite of the lack of recognition, my husband has found the energy to be endlessly supportive as we weather the up and down storm that is chronic illness – together.
So, on Valentine’s Day and every day, I wanted to share some things that I love about my husband:
In my opinion, it’s really on the difficult days – not the “special” holidays – that we really ought to be showing our love and appreciation for the people who support us most. So, if you are lucky enough to have a partner who supports you, I hope you will let them know exactly how much they mean to you, no matter what day of the year it is!
