Being a mom is a wonderful and rewarding part of your life. It is also challenging and stressful, especially as you’re also managing that constantly cranky extra child called chronic illness. And then comes the holidays, putting extra pressure on you to make everything special, usually exhausting yourself in the process. How can you make the holidays special for your family without wrecking yourself in the process?
In this article, I’ll be sharing five tips to help you prepare for a holiday season that you, too, will enjoy, inspired by my book Chronic Christmas: Surviving the Holidays with a Chronic Illness. I have also included some tips shared by members of the Mamas Facing Forward Facebook group. Note: some of these have been edited for length.
Be like Santa
Approaching the holiday onslaught of shopping, decorating, parties, and so much more with a plan will help you spend your energy where you truly want to be. Take the time to identify the essentials by making a list that emphasizes the nice and de-prioritizes all the events and tasks you do because you feel you should (aka the naughty). Focusing on what truly has worth to you allows more time for enjoyment, as well as the space to give your chronic illness what it needs.
Keep it reasonable
Welcome to the season of excess! It’s so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of festivities, forgetting that your energy is not unlimited. That way lies a pretty nasty flare. Instead, once you have decided which tasks and parties are truly meaningful to you, start thinking about how to keep your efforts reasonable. Maybe it’s reducing the number of presents or getting together with friends after the holidays instead of exchanging gifts. Perhaps it is talking to your family about creating a potluck approach to the holidays instead of one person being responsible for cooking a huge spread. It’s quite likely that your family and friends will also welcome a more reasonable approach.
Decorations that matter
Apply the thoughtful approach to the holidays to the way you decorate, as well. What is essential for your holiday to be right? If you have toddlers who are attracted to shiny things, include that in your considerations. This may be the year that you choose plastic or soft decorations for your tree. Or you can use the Danish approach and make them yourself out of paper. Go easy, limit decorating to a short time every day and get your kids of (almost) all ages involved. If they have made the decorations or helped put them up, they are more likely to treat them gently.
Focus on hygge
As you may have guessed, I am Danish myself, but now live in Canada. Much of my advice regarding creating a beautiful, but low-energy holiday comes out of what I experienced growing up. The Danish concept of hygge rules at any time of year, but especially during the holidays. Hygge can be loosely translated to cozy, but it’s more than that — it’s about togetherness, focusing on the little things, and about what you feel. It often includes candles (which can be battery-operated if you have little ones), a yummy treat, and spending time with the people you love. Because that’s where the holiday magic happens.
Embrace good enough
We talk a lot about how the holidays are for kids, and then we get sucked into doing all sorts of things that kids don’t care about. My most treasured childhood holiday memories are helping my mother bake cookies, making decorations, or just being together, reading or watching a movie. Forget about perfection and embrace the concept of good enough. Your kids won’t care if your house looks perfect, but they will remember the time you spent together.
And that’s it in a nutshell. The perfect holiday is one that you get to spend with the people you love best, just being together. And it is one where your chronic illness is quiet enough that you can be fully present to enjoy your kids and feel that holiday spirit. Do whatever is necessary for you to protect that.
Lene’s book contains many more tips on how to survive the holidays with a chronic illness.
Disclosure: Mamas Facing Forward is providing the above link as an Amazon Associate. If you choose to purchase after clicking the link, we may receive commission at no extra cost to you. Any funds we receive go towards providing more resources for moms and moms-to-be living with chronic illness, so thanks for using our links!
