Because there are only a few books available that specifically feature a parent who lives with a chronic illness, we’re branching out to books that focus on other types of illness, books that focus on children with illness, and books that talk about feelings. Hopefully these reviews will help you determine whether any of these books might be a good fit for your family discussions!
The Perfect Shelter
by Clare Helen Welsh
Two sisters are building a shelter out in the woods – the perfect shelter – but the little girl notices that something isn’t right with her sister. Her parents don’t tell her what is going on right away because they don’t want her to worry, but she knows something is wrong because people are crying.
In The Perfect Shelter by Clare Helen Welsh, the older sister is sick with with a serious illness, but a particular diagnosis is never mentioned. As the big sister gets sicker, the weather and how it impacts their shelter in the woods serves as a metaphor for how the younger sister is feeling inside.
After a lot of rain falls, the little girl knows she can repair her shelter in the woods, but she doesn’t want to do it while her sister is visiting doctors. The storm gets worse with thunder and lightning and the shelter in the woods is destroyed, as the little girl fees cross and frightened while visiting her sister in the hospital.
As the storm eases and turns to quiet snow, the big sister gets a little bit better but can’t go out to the forest – so they build a shelter out of sheets inside, and it turns out that it is still perfect because the family is together.
There are some things I love about this book. The story normalizes a scary process – when someone you love gets seriously sick and needs to go to the doctor – while gently making it clear that it might get scarier before it starts to feel better again. It also gives a preview of what it might feel like to visit a loved one in the hospital. I love the way the story ends with the family finding a new way to complete a cherished activity together that accommodates the sick family member. I love the resilience of the family and the importance placed on love and being together.
I do, however, have some doubts about whether this is the right book when trying to explain a parent’s chronic illness to a child. For one thing, the illness in this book is a serious one, most likely cancer, which has a mortality component that may not be relevant to a parent’s chronic illness. Additionally, in this story it is the big sister, not the parent, who ends up sick and in the hospital. Could this make kids worry that they will get sick too, like their parent with the chronic illness? I’m not sure.
While I would certainly recommend this book to a family dealing with a sibling’s illness, I would advise caution in using this for explaining a parent’s chronic illness. I would certainly make sure to guide the discussion afterwards to focus on how the family found new ways to do treasured activities, still together, still loving each other.
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